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Retirado da página sobre Time Travel na Uncyclopedia :-) [deixei em itálico os meus favoritos :-) ]

Time Travel Guidelines

• Don’t alter anything in the past, because it could mess up the future!
• Unless, of course, there is something you need to do, in which case by God don’t not do it!
• Sleeping with random women is a good way to be your own grandpa.
• Killing random people can make the future much better…or much worse…or controlled by giant bugs, for no apparant reason.
• If you travel back more than a few million years, be prepared to be caught in some crappy “garden of Eden” sci-fi cliche.
• Travelling to the future and using that knowledge to win in gambling is a surefire way to kill your father.
• Don’t alter anything in the future, because it could mess up the past…errr, wait. What?
• Remember to keep a time travel diary so you’ll know what things you changed if you need to go back and erase screwups from a previous trip.
• Remember that your safety is not guaranteed, especially not if you push it to the limit.
• Remember to bring your own weapons.
• Since safety is not guaranteed, remember to take your stapler.
• Ensure you will be paid upon returning to your own time.
• It is rather wise to have done it once before.
• Try and take your first trip through time with somebody who has already done so at least once before, so they can help prevent you from making any foolish mistakes.
• One sap named Steve Hawking has forbidden time travel. Ignore him, he’s out to get attention.
• Do not step on ants if you can avoid it.
• 60% of all future time travellers leave back alive.