I like to read these limericks
But i don’t know about metrics
So I won’t write any
Even for a penny
’cause i’m not one of those sadistics

(Oh, wait…)
— Wendel Scardua

I’ve tried to write that on a Orkut community called English Practice. I hope it sounds as bad as it should, *evil grin*.

What’s a limerick, you ask ? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Here are some self-referential limericks, like:

There was a young bard of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When they said it was so,
He replied, “Yes, I know,
But I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can.”
— Anonymous

or

There was a young poet quite fine,
Whose limericks repeated a line.
Though this was redundant,
Though this was redundant,
His limericks repeated a line.
— Carl Muckenhoupt

ps: maybe someday I’ll be able to post in 日本語 (haha…)

update: maybe I’ve been reading too much Irregular Webcomic:

David was playing some Cthulhu RPG
Then he saw something he didn’t want to see
So he rolled a D20
And lost that amount of sanity
“-Damn you, Non-Euclidean Geometry!”
— Wendel Scardua

Dessa vez é só pra registrar um triálogo muito bom que li na webcomic Questionable Content, #976:

Dora: Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past.

Marten: If that’s true, then wisdom is knowing that you’ll be an idiot in the future.

Faye: And common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot NOW.

Em pt_BR:

Dora: Maturidade é você saber que foi um idiota no passado.

Marten: Se isso é verdade, então sabedoria é você saber que será um idiota no futuro.

Faye: E bom senso é você saber que deveria tentar não ser um idiota AGORA.

(update?) Wow, eu escrevi isso a uns 42 dias atrás (srsly!), e esqueci de dar publish!

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in an outdoor cafe. They watch two people go into a building across the street. Shortly thereafter, three people come out.

“Hmm,” says the biologist. “It looks like they reproduced.”

“Nah,” says the physicist. “There was obviously error in our initial measurement.”

The mathematician looks up from his coffee. “Who cares? If another person goes in, it’ll be empty.”

–by HungWeiLo (250320) on Sunday May 06, @07:45PM (#19014611)

Traduzindo pra pt_BR :

Um biólogo, um físico, e um matemático estão sentados num café. eles observam duas pessoas entrarem num prédio do outro lado da rua. Logo depois, três pessoas saem.

“Hmm”, diz o biólogo. “Parece que eles se reproduziram”.

“Nah”, diz o físico. “Obviamente houve um erro na nossa medição inicial”.

O matemático observa por sobre o seu café. “Quem se importa ? Se outra pessoa entrar, ele vai estar vazio”.

PS2 slim: Eu não deveria precisar avisar, mas: 2 – 3 + 1 = 0

Compare Preços de: café, PS2 slim

Q)Why did the multithreaded chicken cross the road?
A)to To other side. get the

Q)Why did the multithreaded chicken cross the road?
A)other to side. To the get

–by Hal_Porter (817932) on Monday February 26, @11:42AM (#18154210)

Ou traduzindo para o português:

Q)Porque a galinha multithread atravessou a rua ?
A)do Para outro lado. chegar

Q)Porque a galinha multithread atravessou a rua ?
A)outro do lado. Para chegar

Sim, para entender a piada precisa saber de programação concorrente.

Joke well taken, but in all honesty the bigger joke is that we technically could have had flying cars already. You know what the problem is? the general public couldn’t be trusted not to crash the things left and right. In no time there would be more flying lawsuits than cars.

Ou em pt_BR (tentativa de versão minha):

Boa piada, mas honestamente a maior piada é que tecnicamente nós podiamos já ter carros voadores. Sabe qual é o problema ? Não se pode confiar que o público geral não vá bater nas coisas pela esquerda e direita. Em pouco tempo estariam voando mais processos do que carros.

–

E, uma piada a base de física quântica:

Heisenberg gets stopped by a cop for speeding.

“Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”, asks the cop.

“No. But I know exactly where I am!”

(pt_BR’ing)

Heisenberg é parado por um policial por excesso de velocidade.

“Você faz idéia de quão rápido você estava indo ?”, pergunta o guarda.

“Não. Mas eu sei exatamente onde eu estou!”

ps: 23 é um número aleatório, ao contrário de 42, que é importante por ser a Resposta. Talvez a Pergunta tenha a ver com 4, 8, 15 ou 16 … but i digress…

E eis que o seguinte comentário é feito:

Killer app ?
Shrink this down and fill it with ink. An automatic pen! Well, it sounds good on paper…

Traduzindo:

Killer app ? [*]
Encolha isso e encha com tinta. Uma caneta automática! Bem, parece bom no papel…[**]

[*] Killer app seria uma aplicação “matadora”, como posso dizer… algo revolucionário.
[**] Eu ia explicar o “duplo sentido”, mas explicar piada não dá certo… rs… :-)

Time Travel Guidelines

• Don’t alter anything in the past, because it could mess up the future!
• Unless, of course, there is something you need to do, in which case by God don’t not do it!
• Sleeping with random women is a good way to be your own grandpa.
• Killing random people can make the future much better…or much worse…or controlled by giant bugs, for no apparant reason.
• If you travel back more than a few million years, be prepared to be caught in some crappy “garden of Eden” sci-fi cliche.
• Travelling to the future and using that knowledge to win in gambling is a surefire way to kill your father.
• Don’t alter anything in the future, because it could mess up the past…errr, wait. What?
• Remember to keep a time travel diary so you’ll know what things you changed if you need to go back and erase screwups from a previous trip.
• Remember that your safety is not guaranteed, especially not if you push it to the limit.
• Remember to bring your own weapons.
• Since safety is not guaranteed, remember to take your stapler.
• Ensure you will be paid upon returning to your own time.
• It is rather wise to have done it once before.
• Try and take your first trip through time with somebody who has already done so at least once before, so they can help prevent you from making any foolish mistakes.
• One sap named Steve Hawking has forbidden time travel. Ignore him, he’s out to get attention.
• Do not step on ants if you can avoid it.
• 60% of all future time travellers leave back alive.

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